Too Gay to Play?

A long time ago I was told that I was “sold” to Oil Can Harry’s, the gay community. The trouble was, I was not planning to be gay. They needed work earnings in Hollywood, CA I was told as a small person standing under the immense blue Hawaiian skies of Oahu, Hawaii. It appears more than one of my “fake husbands” was from that group of people.

What’s killing me to this day is… back then I was given mixed messages.

Told I could be friends with gay men, however I was also told not to speak with them as some, maybe all are TRAINED to handle women in certain very negative, even hostile ways.

This fake marriage to some very talented and tough gangsters may have left me unprotected, even targeted by gang members who did not want to know me at all. Some people may have assumed the gay community would protect me. I feel it was hit and miss. Lots of conflicted agendas in dealing with me.

What upset me the most is I was willing to be on just friendship terms with gay peoples of Hollywood. They were not really interested.

I come across being trans to some people because I have a masculine mind, always have. My own human body is a mishmash of tough and fragile. I just wing it with people, whoever I come in contact with. My regular instinct is to just handle people I meet with consideration as a human being without regard of their sexual preferences. In general I like people until I get too much exposure to hostile, negative and violent ones who harm me in some way.

I am not certain what was said to the Hollywood gay community about me in the 1970s+.