There were still bigger people than me in the 1970s. Some listened to me some did not. Mostly the gang people liked ideas to lift from me and use themselves. That was my primary baby job. I occasionally took it a step further and added how-to do some of my ideas. I actually had HOPED to RETURN or JOIN PEOPLE at higher levels. What happened is I was replaced before I was born. It appears all kinds of deals were made before I was even born. It means gang members may have already been decided on and what they were going to do… while I was at home a “weakened wife” for someone.
I GOT BOOSTED at times in my life, I looked strong, vibrant out in public.
Then I went home and rested for weeks. I do not have the strength to be a public person for others even if everyone loved me. And some appear trained to down someone like me so others can step up. I doubt it was random. They really do have leadership gang members in all kinds of places and they have to control their own peoples. I do respect this. It got confusing at times because it looked like people wanted me to share ideas and chat… freely. I came in conflict with bigger people even if they wanted to lift the ideas themselves. I got injured and sent home many times, over and over again. Why leadership people may have retired me and replaced more than most normal people, and young.
I have a feeling, key people(and friends, families) in Hollywood actually retired and left the U.S.A. in the late 60s into the 70s… and I became a new person to TOY WITH. It was very rough going and I became fallen over and over again. The whole thing was sad looking.
I could not rise up as a NEW WEALTH person… the old ones were looking to use me instead to help their own people. Even if I had some great ideas for making money, there was no way I could shepherd them myself or as part of a team.
I am sad that there is no group to join these days to even think tank and discuss current problems. I don’t even visit with a Donna or Crisara or Meghan or April or Mamie or any of those names even if nicknames. NO DISCUSSIONS. I feel people NEED ME DEAD. I am doing these writings because people keep hovering out in public and I am not certain what is going on. They are strangers to me.
People NEED ME DEAD. It has been said and it has been re-enforced in recent years. It may not be everyone though.
So I am not saying much out in public nor seeking anyone. And I honestly don’t know many people. I’ve been dormant. People kept me dead in other places too.
I am troubled because I know some of what is going on in the U.S.A. and beyond was created by a PAC I was a part of in the 1970s and lightly 80s.
I couldn’t say much all these decades because I was injured and OUT OF PLAY. What’s going on right now is, I cannot just “step back into something” because I have not been given proper recognition for it. It appears I’m still blended in via KSPL and networks of more than one gang with very active people in public.