
This was the trouble I was getting in, some wanted to use me like an actual gang leader and I could not authentically. I was able to LEAD WITH IDEAS which may have been what real mafia people noticed and allowed for. Trouble is I was NOT A WEALTHY PERSON…. UNLESS… I had sponsorship. Which made me look very politically owned. It may be why people were not quick to announce who I was. Probably needed to move me around to different mafias so they could decide about who is who and funding of ideas. This means people far above me were deciding who the actual leaders of people were going to be and where the funding would come from. Some appeared to be talented gamblers from Las Vegas and other like kind cities. It could be why I was able to visit with some early Donald Trump people even at Mar A Lago! I was too young to stay and get to know people. Just there on short visits.
I wish it to be known I may have requested tougher gang people to shepherd/sell some of my ideas in the 1970s. The reasoning was if they didn’t push hard enough they may have never gotten to higher circles of mafia for them to review and potentially invest in. I don’t think I did the wrong thing. By doing it though, I got left far behind and small. It was not necessary to keep me in the higher circles because I would have needed more funding. Back then it was easier to step away and let the bigger people capitalize. What I didn’t anticipate was being mugged over and over again. I got so messed up damaged while young I was labeled disabled to society and unable to participate as a future employee, executive even just a friend of people doing things. I got thrown really far away from all kinds of interesting places.
Here I am in the wilderness and looking all around the news and internet, thinking… “Wow…” And that may be why some gang members are haunting me a little(?) I did stay small, and actually smaller than I ever thought I’d be. Higher people may have planned my life and knew what it was. I did not. I actually had hoped to have a bigger identity for myself in any city by now. It really is not happening at all. I can’t. I am actually still disabled physically and that is a turn off to some people. Also I don’t have a work history at major companies in any town or city.
Honestly thought I’d be living in a bigger home with a bigger family unit and higher income. Thought I’d be hosting low budget holiday parties for friends and extended family members every year. What I’ve had instead is a life that looks like it could have belonged to an artist, an actress, a divorced wife on limited income. I’m sorry I don’t have more. I’ve tried to have some fun with people along the way. I’ve been underfunded even for myself.