Here is why. I’ve been through a lot and I am not actually strong enough now to help manage a group of people. My life has changed even in recent years. I have slowed down. I’m actually less adapted to groups and participating with a team to do a project. In all fairness, most of my life I was quiet at home recovering from a variety of gang violence(s). Being DONE and small… I’m okay with this.
Really sorry if you thought I was a big timer who took up blogging. I was actually a CHILD to bigger people a long time ago. I had the challenge and honor of the position. I’ve handled “little speeches” and “big voice” speaking a long time ago. It is more natural to me than maybe most people.
Perhaps in another life I would have been an in person, employed speech writer for someone important.
My presence and life on planet Earth may have actually saved lives of some bigger people. I got to do the field work at times instead of them. I did earn some very real clout a long time ago. I probably earned my early retirement… just not arranged well at all. I appear to have challenged too many people while I was young. They created a wave, a big wave… that carried many and me also into all kinds of things these past decades. I may have taken hits meant for bigger people. I could not recover as quickly from them as they may have.
Couldn’t get the funding like a big person, too unsafe. It’s why I freely tell people how small I am, how average now in life. I look like someone who is not sponsored well. I can’t change this!