On speaking terms. It is how I learned this is a difficult planet. Most things earned do not come easy. I believed in who I met, even just eye contact. I may have agreed to the terms of “working for” the United Nations a while in my youth. Valuable lessons in… life and death. I did learn things far from U.S.A.’s borders. I visited Mexico and Canada, as well as Russia, China and more in person.
It why I know San Diego, CA is not well behaved and people slander really horrendously about me and have a long time, while others knew I was too weak as a child not fully grown up yet they planned on replacements of me. I felt like my own death must have been near. And not I’ve made it into my 50s.
I had real amnesia for a very long time. I was like a dead head. I got used to it. I was not amused that people left me like that. Yet I also embraced it. I saw too many things in my youth that were unpleasant. Suffered it also.
I’m looking back in this moment, as my mind allows it… to remind people, the human race likely was not designed to harm itself. Each human body was not made for destroying another human. So the problem solving spirit I had, I allowed for and even pushed buttons to see what humans do, how they answer, and what and why they were doing it. I don’t want to find out how many bones in my body have been broken since I was born, I’m sure it is a very impolite number. Noting I paid for a lot of what I have right now with my own body and soul. ALREADY PAID FOR IT.
A long time ago a Russian man, or so he said he was… looked forward to “Making the United States look stupid.” He was angry and dying. It was not me that caused all this. I had a good mind, so have others. If what happened to me also happened to others… well, head injuries, being drugged and coerced? Yeah, okay… dumb looking country. It may not even be my original home country however I got it. I feel dumb, I had been coerced into saying I’d marry an Incan… I was around 4-6 years old. THEN I REFUSED TO when they presented a couple of them. They actually looked near black they were so dark in skin. And very, animal. WTF was I supposed to do with a “man” like that/this? I couldn’t, had to refuse. I was also offered a Mexican mafia hitman, he planned to just use me as a baby maker and then mrdr me. STILL NOT A GOOD IDEA. So I never married a Mexican and never got married. I’m not gay, I just have standards.
I’m still watching how stupid Unites States of America looks and what my own life looks like. Someday I’ll have my last breath and likely, if I am lucid at all… still be taking in the surprises and standards. Wondering, which country does the U.S.A. most behave like?
I hear the ‘wind’ saying, “We look like criminal people.” And my response is, yes, likely. Criminals can do some amazing things, also get into so much trouble they live short lives or lives in hiding. Are criminals useful? Oh yes, I feel they absolutely have value on planet Earth. It gets kind of crazy when they outnumber the average or normal or non-criminal people. Suddenly we have more uneducated, more violent, cheatful people than ones looking to do legitimate business. What happens is the whole mix turns sour and there is more and more corruption that even the criminals hate their town or city. So criminals, remind yourselves you can retire to full legitimacy and stick to it. If you wait too long in your life, you may get saddled by BIG PEOPLE who enslave you for life as a criminal. You won’t like it. Not a threat, a reminder.
I don’t know what’s going to happen with my life. I feel like I helped millions of people through bigger people and yet there are still small people who want to steal my pocket change and air around me! I helped people figure out some cool things for multi-billion dollar companies and there have been small people who have beat me up and petty thieved me. I’m trying not to be angry because it looks like some kind of mafia custom to steal and talk about the target, but sheesh… to others it looks purely small time criminal minded!
Hello whoever is snooping. I am typing this live. Yep.
Speaking in person, live used to freak people out. I had to teach myself how to write out thoughts. I actually had not learned it well until my late 40s. My first notepad was Twitter in 2020. Yep, kind of sketchy. Yulp. Well, had to remove it. Sorry, too many grumpy asF comments. Only comments, k?
I was told that I picked up British better than some royalty in the 1970s. I was pretty good at speaking then? I gave up trying to be good at speaking. A Joshua K. Jr. beat me up many times so did a young Mike. I learned not to speak well in public due to them. I was actually very harmed and yelled at long before I was 10 years old. They didn’t want to copy me. I have a feeling someone sent them.
I don’t know what’s going to happen with my health. Every post I make could be my last. I used to get so kidnapped and mugged even for a partial poem. Sometimes at night I feel like I’m going to stop breathing and my heart will stop also. Honestly. It has been like this a little bit this past year. I start to fall asleep and something in my head says, “Something is not right.” Like there is a final door that keeps haunting to open when I drift off to sleep. Please forgive me if I don’t wake up someday. I have been through a lot.
I have actually met enough people, real ones and pretenders. It’s why I don’t mind quiet days and lack of social activities.