It means someone else is who would be in conflict with me if I were. I have written at length about my absence allows for at least one person, maybe many to replace me in a position somewhere of work or clout or both, you know? OUT IN PUBLIC, in important places.
Mostly I have NOT been in important places most of my life. I have been kept out of them. I am so sorry if the slander tales about me did not work out correctly. It means people got different impressions about me long before meeting me and then I didn’t match the descriptions!
the ‘wind’ hinted at something today I hadn’t thought of bringing up more of. My original people may have been chased out of the U.S.A. in the 1970s. They may have planned to sponsor me more in life and I was planned to be more than I ended up being. Without enough protection, I can’t actually do much in the U.S.A.
There was a time, and it may still be the case to visit some places… I’m actually supposed to HAVE AN ESCORT. Even a relative. People have gotten used to me in public all these decades in California. In my youth I needed to be escorted because what happened is I left home many times just in my neighborhood and got kidnapped. I got kidnapped a lot more than anyone may have dreamed possible. It disrupted me and so many connected to me… I basically lost a lifetime, the other one that became out of reach. I got a very minimized life instead. I doubt I’m at risk of being kidnapped now days. I am not connected like I was in the 1970s. A lot of plugs were pulled out, a lot of bonds severed, people came and left the U.S.A., money planned–cancelled. Even if it wasn’t my money, I may have been connected to a bigger fund than I got.
“They kidnapped her from Honolulu, HI permanently, actually.” – the ‘wind’
My response is: I am not 100% certain I was supposed to be there long term. I may have been standing in for someone else to begin with. I can’t be certain, I’m not that well connected or informed.
“Her expensive fund is completely gone. It was stolen in the 1970s.” – the ‘wind’
My response: And I was not allowed to rise up again, or with a new group. I may have visited with many groups and contacts of other people. I was not funded well or at all. It was NOT EASY. That’s why I am so dead feeling, so low energy… or run out much faster than average people.
Thought of something in analogy: I ended up being a roadie instead of a concert producer in life. Do you know what this is? I’ve met roadies. They are talented behind the scenes people who don’t make much money(some do okay, many don’t), can do amazing things, however the lives they have are very hard on their bodies and souls. Some are spent and used up before their 40s and then they are so worn out they don’t ever do much after that. If you can understand I had a life like a roadie and now I’m settled home again… you’ll understand me now not doing much and why others don’t want me to either. I look FEEBLE and sick to tougher, stronger, younger people.
the ‘wind’ added, “…battered roadie.”
My response: “Yeah.” (a bit winded)
“A roadie cannot pay for the concert producer.” – the ‘wind’
My response: “No. Can’t.”
Many know I was a “sea hag” and I knew that was a bad idea as soon as I heard about it. I couldn’t talk people out of it. (1970s) That’s like a roadie who is kidnapped, dragged around work places, and dragged out again. People didn’t want me well known anywhere. I didn’t do it as much as I could have because I got so messed up, they created more sea hags. I am really sorry to say, it may not have gone like they think. I was NOT ACTUALLY MAFIA and people complained about this. Had I been, things would have gone very differently.
If you know I was a sea hag, you will also know there is NO CHANCE I can return to those same places and rise to leadership positions. I believe that was the intent originally. Unable to rise to leadership means I could not easily chat with, do business with the others leading, managing. I could not get better money and do other business and deals. I was very much kept with a low glass ceiling. I am sorry, a lot of this looked pre-determined before I was a first grader (age 6). It may have been planned before I was five years old and talking with Punahou people.
I am still confused what happened to me in my youth regarding political party affiliation. I was told I was a Democrat and then I was told I was Republican. Yet neither party was talking to me full time at all during my life. NOT AT ALL. In fact, people treated me with silence as someone NOT INVOLVED, an outcast. Likely because I was SOLD OUT, and many considered me “fully retired”, likely because they didn’t want me to be a sea hag or roadie-like person.
Another thing that is baffling. When I was a child, at the feet of some adults in San Diego, CA, battered and trying to look up… at least a couple Mexican women stepped up and told me this: “We want to choose our own Steven.” I couldn’t argue. I was so messed up I agreed they should. I thought I was from Hawaii anyway. I knew there were German Stevens already, as well as Korean and others. The question is, why didn’t they release me as soon as they did? Rumor is I was handed over to “Mexicans” in the 1970s and I am not certain why. They didn’t teach me about their culture, language or people. I got to see some things in Mexico. Mostly I met people who wanted to be my replacement…clearly, in the U.S.A. I bring this up because “Alex” and “Clinton” from Riverside may be a direct connection to those people. These are younger ones than the originals of the 1970s. Please read these if you don’t know my problem. https://www.sarahspielberg.org/thoughts/the-san-diego-spielberg-team-that-was-announced-in-the-late-1970s-or-early-1980s/ and https://www.sarahspielberg.org/thoughts/reminder-the-san-diego-spielberg-team-is-above-me/
KEY TAKEAWAY POINTS mentioned and not:
- People bigger retired me. Also told me to take “retirement age at 50 years old”. This is important because my bonding on that age confirms it a good idea and it released others in the 1970s who were being held. I’m upholding my end. I am NOT DOING WORK FOR PAY. I am NOT HIRED and WORKING.
- I may have been retired in nature since the 1970s due to gang violence/injuries.
- I was snooped, taken around politely and impolitely for decades ALREADY.
- I am actually feeble compared to the corporation working people who appear robust. I am weakened like a “wife meant to be at home”.
I see what is going on with Bob Iger at Disney. His name was one of the earliest big names I came into contact with in the 1970s. He is trying to be retired himself. I see he is doing good things for Disney, some clean up before he really is too old to continue. It reminds me of my own status. I can’t visit big people. I can’t visit small ones (not easily) either. I have no real business I need to get done other than my own simple life now. NO ONE has HIRED ME to “come back” and do anything, I feel it already happened many times in my life. I hope snoopers and gang members, related start to drift away from me or continue to.
I can’t do much for others. I’m not doing an all out good job taking care of myself as it is.