A Weak Life

A long time ago I was told about a “weak life” and so young that I said back, “…a week life? Does this mean I only have a week to live my life?” What it really meant is someone decided to prevent ongoing gang violence in my life that I was to be taken down to a level of living that makes someone a weakling, frail. They did it to me so young, it has been the only life I’ve known.

I’ve written many times now online “there is a problem” since 2020 when I noticed there may still be gang members copy catting me, even doing as thoroughly as “Russian married”(impostering, deep faking). I had to split off to alert people WHICH person I am. I’ve been doing this for years now. Gang members had to hide me in the 1970s many times because they didn’t want people to think they were pedophiles. It got so very stuck, I wasn’t sure who I was anymore. I am these days authentically over 150lbs and shorter than 5ft10in, taller than 5ft5in. I am NOT a small human by size. I am disabled more than people know about and that is the concern I wished to impress upon others. I still have internal injuries not healed perfectly since the 1970s. I’ve also survived many toxins, some of which may have been given to me directly with the goal in mind to keep me an at home person, not a robust body in a workforce.

I CANNOT be used as a free previs person this way! Following me as a weakling without good money to work with is not a good idea. I can’t pretend things.

How can I look so tall and heavy and not be strong? Internal injuries. Notably my skeleton’s geometry is off from criminal hits in my youth that were not fully healed as my body grew. Holding up, maneuvering my self around even at home fatigues me more than a healthy, strait, balancing body. I’ve also survived injuries to internal organs so they are not ever going to work at 100% ability.

Gangsters and mafia helped create me as tough as I could be as a WEAK LIFE person. It honestly means someone tougher, better connected is “doing my real life’s work” in the workforce somewhere. They actually are or have worked and had work earnings. Most of my life, maybe all of it… I was paid through passive, personal not work place sources.

What is a weak life person? They are very soft and frail compared to people who work full time as genuine worker. Here is an extreme illustration of it: a petite gentle woman who politely reads books and does artwork at home every day, and not all day compared to a construction worker who works 8-12 hours daily that can lift concrete bags of 50-80lbs, drives big heavy machinery almost all day long. She is weak, he is strong. I have been so weak many times in life that I was NOT STRONG ENOUGH to read books all day. I’d fall asleep, took naps during the day even as an adult. So weak at times, walking a block or two to buy a coffee was not a thing I could do. I can’t right now either.

I’ve tried to fight being a weak life person. I’ve exercised to be mildly athletic, used lots of mind control, took pain killers. I can’t do this kind of thing at this age! So it is a definite retirement age I am embracing. My mind is not bad, I just can’t join a group or groups, teams, companies who REQUIRE strong people for daily work. Some days I look okay, just tired. Other days I can’t muster enough strength to go to a grocery store or it takes me a couple of days to talk myself into doing it. I am pathetic. NOT THE WAY I WANTED TO BE IN LIFE.

It may have had to happen. It did CURE the SPELL on me in my youth and that was all kinds of people kidnapping me. They also had to remind others who I actually was instead of just pretending all kinds of things about me.

My weak life and handicapped body forces me to sit at home while others are doing much bigger things. I can look okay, I am not.