Still an Influencer

I’ve looked 360 degrees recently and realized the society of people I am supposed to be standing with are global and local influencers. I’m a loner in my spirit and insights, and those are still my people even if I don’t know them by name or in person at all. Those are my actual people! Millions of people who are strangers to me, and I them.

It didn’t get said enough in my life. This label: influencer. What it has done is prevented me from being a wealthy person. I’ve had a low-ish professional glass ceiling, and yet been allowed to speak with important people as needed: which I mostly did it in my youth to be honest. I get important people these days also, however I appear more as an older average person in public. I’ve been on ice for decades. People did throw me away so others could be more important in society. I didn’t get thrown in the backseat… got left at home mostly. I look retired from any commitments or duties to this day.

“Yooen? Yu-en?” I said. “No, you are U.N.” the tall blond man answered, putting some body armor on me with the stenciled letters, “U.N.” on it. “Oh! The letters, U… and N… Am I going to be in trouble here, as U.N.?” (1970s, Israel)

The take away from this post is that I was not allowed to be bigger than an influencer. It never was my work or job to help fund others with money I had or have. I couldn’t take people in and shelter them, and I couldn’t hire people daily or monthly. Written in more than one past post that I never had a business partner or life partner to help me do bigger things. I was more interesting to chat with when I was a lot younger and interacting with other influencers, gang members and a variety of leadership people. In recent decades… yes, that many years… my life has been very minimalized and non-controversial. Honestly not talking with people about problems, troubleshooting, issues–I wasn’t needed.

Being stuck as an influencer, it means I cannot head up or lead even a small company with full time or regularly hiring temporary workers. I’m actually a small person in society, a freelancer in nature myself. Only on rare occasions have I been allowed to hire some fellow freelancer/day player types of workers. I was hoping this would change, it has not. Thinking this was chosen to keep me out of bigger troubles and difficulties I would not be able to handle. Not complaining, just openly reminding myself and others why I am limited.

The Small Town Soap Box

fictional mini story

There in the middle of a small town square of a few hundred people… was a very practical wooden box about a meter square or three feet at every dimension. Every Friday afternoon before everyone went home for dinner one person stood on the box and spoke of the week’s currents. Another may stand up on it and give some advice, yet another may tell a short story or some jokes and that’s it every week. Who gets to stand on the soapbox? Well it could be the same people, or the whole town could take turns. What if the whole town did take turns and certain people were “always unavailable” when it was their turn?

One day a youth went looking for an older woman who was never taking her turn. He went to her home on the outskirts of town and knocked on the door. “Ma’am? Why haven’t you taken your turn on the box during my whole life? No one even wants to talk about you.”

The old woman was slow to begin then replied, “I stood on the soapbox for an hour in my youth. I was shaking from injuries and malnutrition and told the story about the sister town twenty miles away that was raided and burned to the ground. This town doesn’t even want to look at me because it reminds them of what happened.”

My Agenda in a World of Conflicts

I want to impart this idea of who I am, even if I edit this later. It’s nearly dinner time on a restful early winter Sunday. My puppy is bigger now, but still gives me baby dog signals for food time and treats. I listen every time. She knows something is wrong if I don’t.

In a world of humans and conflicts, it has been my goal to help others.. any others.. to “get their place” or “help them get to their place”. This place is their highest point in life and standing with society. Some got very far, very high.. even if a short time. I didn’t stand around to help them down. That’s something they can handle and others can reach for them.

What I am saying is, the human race, in spite of all it’s problems and inefficiencies, there is still a drive and a desire to find “greatness” in one’s life. Some run whole groups, whole countries. Some managed to walk across their neighborhood from one side to the other. These are accomplishments in this world. Not everyone is given the same beginning and ending in life. Our purpose is to find what comes between our first breath of air and our last.

I thought it would be my goal to help myself. But it became bigger even before I was tall enough to ride on a park roller coaster. Perspective doesn’t come from “oneness”. It comes from “thoughtfulness”. For me personally, it is to help people get where they are going. Sometimes it is only just to agree with them. Other times, it can take years and even decades and a whole lot of joys and grieving in between.

I ask all those reading this, and maybe agreeing to some of it… let’s find ways to help each other in large and small ways. We are in the human race. The finish line is far in the future… beyond our own lives. Let’s remember, it isn’t all about our one life, or few breaths of the sky around us.

God bless, good bless, and feels. It’s not the words, it is the ideas we think of.