I would have been much happier working on creative works with a small team of people. I couldn’t get that to happen. TOO MUCH HISTORY. I’ve been a ghost in the wilderness so long, people forgot I existed and didn’t know who I was when I showed up for L.A. court time in recent years. People actually did not recognize me nor speak to me like I thought they would. I AM TOO DEAD EVEN THERE. Guess I am supposed to be!
It is okay to be dead to work people. It means I have no commitments to them too. No gang members chatted me up either, so no commitments to L.A. gangs either.
I am still ill and weak. It’s just as well no one wants me for work anywhere. Not well enough anyway. I’m starting to adjust my own goals for upcoming years, like being more practical and lowering expectations for myself. I’m having to embrace the real kind of retirement and retirement age and probably need to. I simply took on too many hits in life, tougher ones and more than I thought possible. Recent health problems is forcing me to rethink how to handle my future. I don’t feel as fearless as I used to. I have greater worry now.
There is a conflict. By myself cannot afford to stay in San Diego, CA as I do not have enough money. While here, gang members APPEAR TO BE hovering as if waiting to move in on me to steal money… which means I’ll be bankrupt or just lower and less able to stay if they are successful. Already I got knocked down a lot in recent years just dealing with the court case based in Los Angeles, CA…which some are now saying was created by San Diegan gang members!
Yet, if people are also trying to keep my identity present in California and also use me politely via KSPL… I need enough funding to stay. Instead of hovering to steal money, people should be helping me get new ways of income even if from various small sources.
Due to all the physical hits I survived over the decades, I cannot live as low as a real migrant (noting they are typically workforce people who are strong). My health needs more support.
I wasn’t planning to write about this at all. Came across a reference to this in one of my news feeds. Read more about it on Wikipedia
Titicut Follies is a documentary film by Frederick Wiseman
This is a curious thing. A long time ago I was taken to some of these people. Or I thought was taken to them. I was very young, even a child(not a teen). And the name was said TO ME, “Titicut Follies” and “they need help”. I repeated the name later, and I may have been in Hawaii… but my memory was destroyed. I have a feeling people may have been there who were not supposed to be. I repeated the name. I am not sure if others followed up or not. The trouble is, some there may have had no other place to be. I am not a psychiatrist. What is bothering me a little is the date “1967”… what does it mean to different people? I’ve seen the date used in places I was not expecting.
I am not sure if I saw real people or actors when I was taken to the place…? And I am not sure what I was even looking at. I feel like I was taken to One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest also and introduced around.
I did learn something about gangsters and mafia in my life. They really messed each other up, and may have used lawful systems illegally.
I want to note something of MY OWN EXPERIENCE. I have been to “mental health” facilities in L.A. briefly(sometimes only a single day) and I appear to have been drugged or with toxins in my blood causing me irrational thinking. I know people can be absolutely FKD with who are normally, normal.
I also have suffered other things that caused me mental problems in life that did not trigger a cause to “contain” me. Poor diet, possible exposure to heavy metals and arsenic poisoning.
Also, some know about being terrorized and the rod system. Some people who are normally very stable could be driven to absurd levels of crazy!
So in a way I am speaking for inmates I never knew. Some may not belong where they are. Their condition may not be their norm at all if they have mental health problems.
I’ve written about it before, people need to be reviewed. Blood tested. Also, prior head injuries can cause issues also with mental health. The brain can suffer enough damage to cause memory problems and nightmares, even some schizophrenia, confusion, vertigo and more… while in the healing phase! A damaged head should not be moved around much at all, including just riding in a car. People are not educated enough about brain damage… people know some about football players, it is a very real thing to have head trauma.
To sum this all up, some characters in prison or other contained places may need to be reviewed for extrinsic or abnormal triggers causing them to look as if they belong behind bars for a long term. Health should not be ignored. In the animal kingdom, even a playful tiger can turn on its own offspring when starving or a brain trauma.
A bird takes another bird into a bird house then leaves that bird there, locks the door behind and flies off.
A long time later, a bird returns and looks into the cage from the outside, peeps “Why are you not full of food and fed? You look unhappy. I’ll be back and get you some food and water.” Bird leaves, comes back and gives some to the bird in the house. The uncertain bird hops to the cage edge and the food and water dropped in.
A third bird, big one… flies in, chases off the delivery bird and breaks open the cage, gobbles the food, knocks over the caged bird and flies off.
The truth illustrated here is… human beings can be as dumb as birds. Typically, the ones who are the most free and able to fly, must help the ones they’ve locked up. Shouldn’t be stealing from them. This lesson speaks of a lack of balance. Firstly, the bird in the cage could have had a door that was open so they could help themself. Then the average bird didn’t attend its own duties to help the bird in the cage. In the end, the big bird could have easily ignored it all because it can get much bigger food for itself, even given leftovers to the one in the cage. The big bird could have even opened the cage door and all three left the scene.
HORROR VERSION
There is a commotion.
A small bird is grossly attacked, injured as it tries to flee. Wings broken, leg too. Head injury. A force puts it in a cardboard box. All the birds surrounding are peeping frantically as if they feel the injured bird needs help! Some food and water are left, and the force leaves. Before the injured bird can get enough energy and wake up enough from the black out to crawl across the box floor, the peeping attack birds jump into the box and steal the food and water.
DOUBLE THE HORROR
The peeping birds leave the box, and the injured bird wakes up enough to eat some crumbs and suck on the water drops still left. Then it falls asleep.
Nearby the peeping birds entertain the force. And the force gives them a big bowl of food and water. The force looks into the card board box and sees the injured, near death bird appears to have eaten and drank. Left a mess! What a pig!
Any humans want me to keep going? You know this happens to human beings. Instead of a lesson told, what would you think about the small bird? Was it attacked because it was by itself and smaller than the other birds? Was it pretty, nice, carried a melody? What was the motivation of the attack? Did the peeping birds imitate its likeness prior to the attack, while it lay in a box dying?
