Tag: disconnected

“Not After Simple Syrup!”

This was a really old message from decades ago. The ‘wind’ is bringing this up why there is some hurt going on and maybe why I’m so triggered to write. Has to do with being trafficked to the L.A. court system around the time I’m forced into “retirement age”.

Note: I CANNOT REPLACE “Templeton” at Universal Studios Inc. There is no plan for it!

It also has to do with my re-connection to people in San Diego(mostly bar hopping, Happy Hour people) on better terms after decades of what I wish to call cross-wiring. The more recent messaging was that I was TO STAY OUT OF L.A. and HOLLYWOOD now that I’ve moved to San Diego full time (2013-). If people told me, I forgot and did get the GMC commercial in 2017. I DID NOT get to produce a feature movie with San Diegans, so that old idea died also. I was SHUT DOWN for feature film producing after 2017 into 2018. By 2019… I knew I was dead to producing. By 2020, I actually had hoped to take a simpler job in development only. That did not happen. By mid 2020 I could sense there was much more gang activity hovering my life. I was panicked, I admit it. I took to writing more and more online. It began as divergent Twitter posts. By late 2020, I got arrested and pulled badly into the L.A. court system.

I have NOT reached out to any Happy Hour San Diegans for advice or help with my being trafficked to L.A. I’ve braved it by myself. Honestly, I was not certain the REAL REASONS I was pulled back into L.A. So I just have gone along with it.

Now it’s over FOUR YEARS of being connected to a “criminal” case that really was only based on typed out words online and I still do not know with absolute certainty that the plaintiff is someone I was even referencing in my online posts that were deemed “threatening”.

I’m not someone under a contract nor someone who took mafia money to get something done. I’m still just living on limited, strict family money a father set up in my childhood.

All these years later I am having to REMIND EVERYONE: I am NOT one of the “Crazy Ones” nor am I one of the truly connected “Kaleidoscope” people. I was dismissed from these peoples. Too young, too small, not mafia enough. This was a long time ago! I am not certain what the trafficking to L.A. with L.A.P.D. and the court system means. I don’t honestly remember what it is for. If I do remember something, I was replaced by VERY REAL CONVICT PRODUCERS for Dreamworks and Illumination as well as any other companies and studios. They got L.A. and work for decades, not me personally.

I cannot get Ready Player 2 and 3. A long time ago it appeared I was lined up for it. The truth is people don’t want those movies as they are not necessary. LIKELY W.B. would INSIST on a German producer with gang and mafia connections to produce anyway. Not someone like me who is damaged and disconnected, not wealthy… and actually not even fully trained to produce at the top level in Hollywood. I’ve only visited, not even apprenticed below a Producers Guild screen credited producer.

I DARE SAY IT: The person or people needed in L.A. are likely people WHO ALREADY KNOW THE VAN NUYS COURTHOUSE PEOPLE WELL. I DO NOT. WHO from SAN DIEGO DOES and HAVE for decades? Who has knowingly REPLACED ME up in L.A. all these decades and has gangster and mafia connections and money too?! I want to REMIND PEOPLE the “DOORS WERE CLOSED” on me in the 1970s. WHO ALL STEPPED INTO MY potential FUTURE BACK THEN? WHO had me mugged for decades while they themselves looked good to others?

WHO CAN PRODUCE READY PLAYER TWO AND THREE and have stepped in front of me in the past? You need to DO THIS NOW. I have to sit at home as dead meat. Someone else is DUE to APPEAR and GET SOME THINGS DONE IN L.A.

The Wrong Move? Crippled for Public Work–Being in the Feared “Wilderness”

THIS may surprise even average people. When I was a youth, Mexican(Germans, Russians also?) gang members threatened and paid people to BE MORE IMPORTANT than me in a variety of places. Because they did this, I’ve had all kinds of difficulties from being blocked and slandered about. These “hits” never ended. They have crippled me for life in all kinds of places. It means I can’t just “rise up and help others”–it appears it won’t ever, NEVER EVER… happen.

It has been so adverse, I’ve looked like a criminal person at a distance. Someone so “hexed” and “disfavored” that people shouldn’t speak to me for any reason, just stay away. The reality is, I have had such a damaged life… I can’t do much for others. I don’t have money or information that can help people in public. I’ve even been moved around so much I’m not even good for giving people directions to the local bars, cafes, beaches, and more!

Actually really slammed me for decades. I couldn’t get help for myself. I had to stay ruined, damaged, unliked, isolated. Even as recent as 2018… local San Diegan gang members may have taken me out for a craft beer… they drugged me so I looked really stupid in the brew houses.

Again I write these things done because there may be others just like me who can’t speak up or write about it. Still too deep within.

I’m Still in the Wilderness and Not Healthy

Writing this out I feel like I’m “belly aching”! Please don’t feel you need to read this. It’s for those who are actually concerned and/or responsible for my life.

I’m not connected well anywhere these days. Many of my connections of the past have retired and passed on. They were adults when I was a youth. I have not moved up into a real in person leadership role anywhere. Others have known me better than I knew and know myself. Collectively, we know I’m not healthy and strong. If you have seen me being strong and assertive in person it was only a temporary thing. Most of the time I’ve gone home and napped, even took days to recover from doing too much with my very imperfect body.

I’ve tried my best to help my body, it just isn’t something that is going to be strong and healthy. I’m lucky to have a few hours to a day or two without having to pay for it with extended rest and recovery. There are 70+ year olds who are in better physical health than me. They walk, jog, ride bikes, chat for hours with others. They look more alive than me. Age is not always a good marker for someone’s health and abilities. Fortunately, many know I generally have given respect to elders. Elders had decided long ago I should not become famous and important. It is likely due to my body’s weak core. I would not be able to be active and contributing daily and hourly of my mind and body which is required for work places, even the gentle ones.

A lot younger I insisted on strengthening my body and tried to be athletic and keeping moving, be strong. I honestly was even doing better a few years ago. The gall bladder removal about a year ago may be playing on me more than I realized. I am weaker, feeling a general illness daily even sitting around at home. Trying to stay alive even at home I am doing house chores like cleaning and cooking. It really is tiring me out though and I have to nap or just lay down for a couple of hours. It is making me feel old. Thankfully I do pep up and recharge enough to remind me I am a useful person.

It’s almost 8pm right now. Since 8am I helped get the small Thanksgiving meal together today and ate some also! Also I stood up and did a lot of the dish washing also. I’m laying in bed right now, not feeling good. Inspired to write this out.

If I were better connected, I’d be on the phone wishing people Happy Thanksgiving and also letting them know I’m not well. I’m so much in the wilderness not one person emails with me to chat about anything. They may know how dead I am to work force people and that I am actually ill. They are not saying it, not talking about me because they are concerned about their own work and the people they know better. Yes! It really is this way. I can’t remember when even a fake relative gave me a phone call or email to wish me better health.

I have a court date coming up. It’s way up in L.A. over 110mi from where I am sitting. I’m going to attempt to drive up there for it and pray my health holds up enough to get me through the day and back home again. Actually kind of scared of the system these days. I am worried that L.A. people are still trying to bind me to their city and the works I was only connected to by faint vapor. I can’t be a full time resident in a home or in their county facilities.

I’ve honestly tried to be what people needed of me all these decades. It wasn’t clear because different groups and individuals had different needs. Just don’t have the kind of wealth and health work place people have. Please note… some tough mafia people sized me up in the 1970s. They didn’t want me because I wasn’t wealthy enough even as a child. They also didn’t like the idea of me participating in person with mafia people because I was clearly weak and weakened by gang members already.

In my life definitely people saw to it I got health care, but not always. Some have left me very imperfect to REMIND the gang-bangers to leave me alone. I’m already “dead meat”. Again I was labeled “sea hag” which means mafia gave me a very difficult, tough path. I cannot leap off that life work and path and be a funding support person now. People who can fund others have a very good income, usually with or from decades of work place related earnings. Being a sea hag… I was kept from work places and normal work. Still contributed my life and spirit.

In essence and bold reality.. I appear to have been RETIRED from being a sea hag. If you don’t know what those are, you need to ask people who do know. They are NOT money handlers, pay pals, or funding partners for instance.

If you are a gang member from San Diego: If I was on the same team as “Steven H.” a long time ago, I was not a cash and carry person. I was just a baby in the mix.