criminals – Thoughts

Using an Identity in Los Angeles – Some Migrants Really Know This

I have some advice from a LONG TIME AGO. Things may have changed, so please inquire yourself. A long time ago I appear to have been connected with a MEXICAN IDENTITY in Hollywood. It was EASIER for people to use it whether U.S. citizen or from another country. It was ALSO CONNECTED to Mexican funding. Which means the Mexicans wanted to MAKE MONEY off the identity and what it was connected with.

I am NOT A MEXICAN myself. I am aware many Mexicans have used my name and nicknames, even with my blessings at times when I was a youth. However, I have a feeling some very tough, nasty criminals also got involved and thought I was a threat or competition! I am no threat, I am not competition. Also, I have a feeling people may have SPOKEN NAMES they were using and had other paperwork with their own identities on them.

My humble advice is to NEVER USE THIS IDENTITY NAME HERE. This is not one from the 1970s with all kinds of paperwork and contacts. There are OLDER IDENTITIES that may still be in use even prior to the 1970s! You need to connect with people in L.A. on identities properly or you may never get paid. You are just “saying a name” when you are around people. One of my very legal names and/or past names may be very spoken for in big cities and was used by bigger people than me with permission of the U.S. government. Meaning, the big important people know who I am, know I am small and NOT ACTIVE, RETIRED IN NATURE.

It’s Christmas Eve! Should I be Swearing Instead of Celebrating?

Truth! A long time ago a group of people decided I’d be a good one to pick on. They were in a front yard pulling at my hair. Teen boys and girls while I was barely into grade school. It’s decades later and I’ve been worn down though, really badly. Those hits I’ve survived as a victim were very criminal. I even had suicidal thoughts before I was in grade school because adults and youths were picking on me that young.

I want to ask this openly: What is it all for? Picking on someone long term. Is it just fun for bored people? It’s clear I’ve been VERY HARMED. So harmed at times I spent months healing. So harmed, some of the injuries were left on my body permanently to remind people how hit upon I was. So harmed I’ve actually died and had to be brought back to life by professional medical people.

CHRIST!!! I’ve really been MAS picked on!!

People, I got cancelled and GIVEN THE SILENCE TREATMENT… meaning people stopped talking to me, made it clear they did not want to need me. FOR DECADES!! It may have began during my visit to Blade Runner in the 1970s. People called me “Cancelled” there, and one small man told me he was taking over my name to use in Hollywood. Sounded forever.

I was just supposed to get clear of the past and healed enough to help friends and family members. The original plan of me taking on new work at age 50 looked killed decades ago also. IT MUST BE SOMEONE ELSE who is doing stuff.

Also remember a “Mamie” gangster woman (maybe a group of them) forced me to be clobbered also in the 1970s. They got L.A. and Hollywood instead of me. I was not safe enough to be a regular. It could be people were using me to create problems too… just beating me up and dropping me off at a hospital caused problems!

If I felt a lot better, was a lot stronger… I’d find a way to get more interesting again. I just can’t do it now. I am sorry. I got so targeted in my first decades of life my last decades will likely continue with me being stiff, arthritic, numb in places, and sick easier than average people (already these things).

I can’t please everyone and I don’t know what everyone are after. Some appear happy for me that I got to do some bucket list things in recent years. Some just look suspicious (at a distance) to me as if they want trouble.

A Tighter Bond With Los Angeles Than San Diego County? Likely.

Fast and Furious, born of L.A. Why this image in-of U.K.? I was in person for previs on this motion picture very early on. I drove more than one vehicle that was used in the movie.

Oddly, and I want to acknowledge this… I probably do still have a tighter bond with Los Angeles, CA than San Diego, CA. I hadn’t thought of it this way much, however my feeling is more people know me there than they do in San Diego for in person and whatever I got into and out of my whole life. I regret now that I could not become a long term Los Angeleno and feel that probably should have been my original path. I just could not arrange it well myself and had no real family who could either. There were some very criminal and grim times in the 1970s and people had to keep me out of that city, probably others also.

I’m not suing anyone over my crazy/stupid-lookn’ court case. I know there are all kinds of crazy that have gone on over the decades. I actually hope I’ve appeased all kinds of people by getting so messed up even in recent years. Is everyone aware that I have been MESSED UP in Los Angeles many… many times in my life and may not have asked for it or deserved it?

In person I feel that I have been respectful of people in Los Angeles County when I’ve been there for a variety of reasons. Admit I had very real amnesia and FORGOT REASONS why I should not be in that county or city. Over time though I managed to befriend people along the way any way. I am not deeply connected anywhere to this day though. Most people only qualify as long term acquaintances at best. Some have been through a lot themselves with and without me at their side even virtually. They may be like family in this regard.

I’m still FAST AND FURIOUS with all kinds of people that… I don’t even know! A long time ago I did bond with some people temporarily over STREET TAKEOVERS and previs for the movies themselves! I didn’t get to know those people. I got replaced by regulars in town very easily and I was way gone. Gangs and mafia appear to have mugged me for decades and prevented me from owning even a dirt cheap old sport car, or cool pickup. Now I am an older person, however I still like quick cars.

Spirit Among Criminals? They Wouldn’t Adopt Me Most My Life.

A long time ago, I thought if I joined with criminals they’d treat me more like a partner. It didn’t go that way at all. Often people just beat me up and defamed me as if I was the only criminal in the equation and they were saints to bring me to work places to SPEAK about content ideas for free!

I was genuinely worried I was going to be mrdrd each time I was kidnapped. Thought my pending collapse and black out my last. So every time I tried to speak well, often thinking it may be my last speech.

Turns out criminals who adopted me only did it when I was very young and looked like “someone else’s child” even their own.

Was I a Mafia Mother?

(from my Linkedin Post “Compensation For?”)

Gunna just have to accept–to myself–I was a “Hollywood regular stand in” for others… and never adopted(paid) to do it there. Others just made sure I had survival money to get me through it all because of the hits I may have taken FOR OTHERS. I ended up being a hit magnet?!! But remember this too for me/us… I paid with my very messed up lifetime already. If anything, PEOPLE OWE ME MORE MONEY. Not the other way around. I’ve had to live a RUINED LIFE. I’m not suing nor invoicing, and “adults” should NOT be sending their small or full grown “children” for money or gifts.

It appears I was a MOTHER for mafia and gangster children. Responsibility got put on me for things THEY DID or SET UP or signed agreements on.

People can and will go on without me. And I need to be retired from helping strangers. Most people I ever dealt with in L.A. even Honolulu appeared to be strangers to me. I didn’t really know them.

I actually believe I’m part of a group of “poor Yugoslavians” that people were supposed to protect and take care of–even minimally, not rob and abuse!

What’s profound is that responsibilities appeared to be put upon me before I was even out of diapers. I’ve had this weight on me my whole life… to help people I didn’t even really know. The distant relative to false surrogates? I’m not sure who set this all up or how it got put together. I know human traffickers were involved. I believe they were Ukrainian-involved, which also connected me to India and Korean peoples and more.