It’s for you to read
I may be returning to Mother Earth themes in the future of my online publishing. Just focusing on health, body, the lands we live on, cultivation, herbalism, organics, gardening(?) even thinking spiritually about people and living.
Read entire post here…
I’ve looked 360 degrees recently and realized the society of people I am supposed to be standing with are global and local influencers. I’m a loner in my spirit and insights, and those are still my people even if I don’t know them by name or in person at all. Those are my actual people! Millions of people who are strangers to me, and I them.
It didn’t get said enough in my life. This label: influencer. What it has done is prevented me from being a wealthy person. I’ve had a low-ish professional glass ceiling, and yet been allowed to speak with important people as needed: which I mostly did it in my youth to be honest. I get important people these days also, however I appear more as an older average person in public. I’ve been on ice for decades. People did throw me away so others could be more important in society. I didn’t get thrown in the backseat… got left at home mostly. I look retired from any commitments or duties to this day.
“Yooen? Yu-en?” I said. “No, you are U.N.” the tall blond man answered, putting some body armor on me with the stenciled letters, “U.N.” on it. “Oh! The letters, U… and N… Am I going to be in trouble here, as U.N.?” (1970s, Israel)
The take away from this post is that I was not allowed to be bigger than an influencer. It never was my work or job to help fund others with money I had or have. I couldn’t take people in and shelter them, and I couldn’t hire people daily or monthly. Written in more than one past post that I never had a business partner or life partner to help me do bigger things. I was more interesting to chat with when I was a lot younger and interacting with other influencers, gang members and a variety of leadership people. In recent decades… yes, that many years… my life has been very minimalized and non-controversial. Honestly not talking with people about problems, troubleshooting, issues–I wasn’t needed.
Being stuck as an influencer, it means I cannot head up or lead even a small company with full time or regularly hiring temporary workers. I’m actually a small person in society, a freelancer in nature myself. Only on rare occasions have I been allowed to hire some fellow freelancer/day player types of workers. I was hoping this would change, it has not. Thinking this was chosen to keep me out of bigger troubles and difficulties I would not be able to handle. Not complaining, just openly reminding myself and others why I am limited.
Actually are the Scotts and their associates. Devin and Jeanne Scott of American Dream Cinema. I was placed on board their vessel Scott’s Landing and it was announced with me standing present to what appeared to be local San Diegan gang and political leadership people, including Wally Schlotter. I was not a legal adult until many years after that and was not included in the mix, by the way. They knew I was returning to Hawaii. Didn’t announce me and what I was to be doing in the present or future.
Devin Scott, a known local film director in San Diego, CA has a green sports car. In recent years I finally was able to obtain a white compact one, similar to one of my Japanese Yakuza fathers in Hawaii once drove. I want people to know, even if I was not born Japanese, I may have been partially raised by their people (through their connections, not directly). Likely Democrats in 1970s Hawaii who may or may not have stayed in the United States. More profound is I was also a Republican through my false husbands in California. And I was also Independent possibly through very established politicians on the east coast of the United States.
I told people in the 1970s that I’d try to help people make money. I was not the funding source itself. People tried to make me look like it though. My clout was through working well connected politicians not patrons of the arts. I got sabotaged by greedy and jealous peoples. Whatever money making work I could have gotten I was mugged for it and forced to stay home injured and drugged so I forgot what happened. I was not allowed to be a player, or a gang member. I was labeled a “sister” and “wife” to stay out of things.
Really got overwhelmed while young, by bigger people than me. I accept this. Am not trying to push back at all. People need to know what happened though. Why I am not well connected and very isolated and a one-off, single person on my own most of the time. A loner. Because of my smallness, mugged self and low funding… I was never able to return in person to local politicians and their people in higher places. I’ve stayed far away, just living a messed up minimal life.
I’ve been slandered about for decades. That’s why when I show up places people are not certain who I even am. My fake relatives don’t know me either. They think they do, but mostly they know their fellow gang members not me at all. Would it surprise you.. and you… or you… to know that possibly if I showed up at the United Nations or more than one country’s leadership palace outside of the United States of America I would be recognized correctly? They would likely all admit I am retired from any commitments and duties I once had a long time ago. That I now look like an average citizen again.
I’m still a part of the Joe Biden/ Kamala Harris U.S.A. right now along with so many as they are current leadership. As Donald Trump takes over the White House and presidential duties I will be a good patron of the country and get behind his leadership. It doesn’t mean I’ll agree with everything going on. I’m an older person and non-activist. Whatever I do, it will likely be mellow and passive. I’m actually impressed he worked hard to gather support to make a return to the president’s seat.
This is Donald Trump. He is a leader. He is outspoken and makes things known. He wants people to follow him.
I was TOLD in my youth NOT TO GET HIRED BY Donald Trump. I don’t recall the reason(s). Must have been too charged, possibly dangerous.
Just letting people know I am not planning any in person or remote work for any politicians or executives. It appears I’ve been asked and told to take retirement age and just not be involved. If I look like I’m doing something political it is only as a one-off small person. I have no expectations of others, and I pray no one has expectations of me. I’m in the wilderness and very not informed of inside information. I am living an average person life, and smaller due to the lack of a big family to do things with.
Honestly, I am a wrung out human being. I’ve been over-played by men and women for the entertainment business AND politics my whole life. So overused that I actually sat around drugged and injured more than out being social or working anywhere. Now I’m very retired and people can’t use me like they did. I’m a legal U.S. citizen, pay taxes. I own real and personal property. Mostly people used my identity and forced me to be elsewhere, dead to the world, lifeless, alone.
Is there a MAN who would like to be married to a very small Spielberg legally? If not in a personal way, a professional one at a distance. Someone big enough to yell at other people, remind them I am older and not healthy, can’t participate as a trafficked, fake migrant in society? Vouch for my humanity and character?
I really only achieved influencer status here on planet Earth. While very young people saw how messed up I was getting at the thought I had high earnings being held by others. (Rumor is I had been connected to millions of U.S. dollars before I was six years old. I have no proof of this.) It killed me for work as a future real producer and company executive with associated earnings and power. Bigger people than me had to be in control, and in control of those who were doing too much trouble making. They stepped in when I was very young and even put sabotage hits on my life. Some actually physically and mentally crippled me years at a time. It is why SO IMPORTANT people know I am retired away from the life I had prior to age 50. Why I am so much freer now, and supposed to be free of gang hits for sabotage. No need now. I’m clearly on a small fixed income, and not competition nor desiring to be competitive.
Writing this out I feel like I’m “belly aching”! Please don’t feel you need to read this. It’s for those who are actually concerned and/or responsible for my life.
I’m not connected well anywhere these days. Many of my connections of the past have retired and passed on. They were adults when I was a youth. I have not moved up into a real in person leadership role anywhere. Others have known me better than I knew and know myself. Collectively, we know I’m not healthy and strong. If you have seen me being strong and assertive in person it was only a temporary thing. Most of the time I’ve gone home and napped, even took days to recover from doing too much with my very imperfect body.
I’ve tried my best to help my body, it just isn’t something that is going to be strong and healthy. I’m lucky to have a few hours to a day or two without having to pay for it with extended rest and recovery. There are 70+ year olds who are in better physical health than me. They walk, jog, ride bikes, chat for hours with others. They look more alive than me. Age is not always a good marker for someone’s health and abilities. Fortunately, many know I generally have given respect to elders. Elders had decided long ago I should not become famous and important. It is likely due to my body’s weak core. I would not be able to be active and contributing daily and hourly of my mind and body which is required for work places, even the gentle ones.
A lot younger I insisted on strengthening my body and tried to be athletic and keeping moving, be strong. I honestly was even doing better a few years ago. The gall bladder removal about a year ago may be playing on me more than I realized. I am weaker, feeling a general illness daily even sitting around at home. Trying to stay alive even at home I am doing house chores like cleaning and cooking. It really is tiring me out though and I have to nap or just lay down for a couple of hours. It is making me feel old. Thankfully I do pep up and recharge enough to remind me I am a useful person.
It’s almost 8pm right now. Since 8am I helped get the small Thanksgiving meal together today and ate some also! Also I stood up and did a lot of the dish washing also. I’m laying in bed right now, not feeling good. Inspired to write this out.
If I were better connected, I’d be on the phone wishing people Happy Thanksgiving and also letting them know I’m not well. I’m so much in the wilderness not one person emails with me to chat about anything. They may know how dead I am to work force people and that I am actually ill. They are not saying it, not talking about me because they are concerned about their own work and the people they know better. Yes! It really is this way. I can’t remember when even a fake relative gave me a phone call or email to wish me better health.
I have a court date coming up. It’s way up in L.A. over 110mi from where I am sitting. I’m going to attempt to drive up there for it and pray my health holds up enough to get me through the day and back home again. Actually kind of scared of the system these days. I am worried that L.A. people are still trying to bind me to their city and the works I was only connected to by faint vapor. I can’t be a full time resident in a home or in their county facilities.
I’ve honestly tried to be what people needed of me all these decades. It wasn’t clear because different groups and individuals had different needs. Just don’t have the kind of wealth and health work place people have. Please note… some tough mafia people sized me up in the 1970s. They didn’t want me because I wasn’t wealthy enough even as a child. They also didn’t like the idea of me participating in person with mafia people because I was clearly weak and weakened by gang members already.
In my life definitely people saw to it I got health care, but not always. Some have left me very imperfect to REMIND the gang-bangers to leave me alone. I’m already “dead meat”. Again I was labeled “sea hag” which means mafia gave me a very difficult, tough path. I cannot leap off that life work and path and be a funding support person now. People who can fund others have a very good income, usually with or from decades of work place related earnings. Being a sea hag… I was kept from work places and normal work. Still contributed my life and spirit.
In essence and bold reality.. I appear to have been RETIRED from being a sea hag. If you don’t know what those are, you need to ask people who do know. They are NOT money handlers, pay pals, or funding partners for instance.
If you are a gang member from San Diego: If I was on the same team as “Steven H.” a long time ago, I was not a cash and carry person. I was just a baby in the mix.
The original event according to history appears to be Incan slaves sent to meet incoming pilgrims from Europe in the northern east coast of the Americas. They helped the newcomers with shelter and food. They ate together in the same spaces, possibly at the same tables.
All these centuries later… it is about family and friends gathering at homes and dinner places. Some get along well, some don’t. I’m wishing for peace today in the United States of America. A day to avoid conflicts and conflagrations. Just a “day of caring for each other”. Share your places, your food, your stories even clothing if lacking. A day without hate and contempt. It’s not a religious holiday, though it appears religiously enjoyed annually here!
I figured out what is going wrong. People knew it may get VERY STUPID later and we are in the later, way later.
THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. I do not have access or use of her contacts. And WHO SHE IS has changed since the 1970s.
It got screwed up very badly in the 1970s. Small men from Russia were using me and kept asking for “Kamala” someone CREATED even though I was in front of them and present for tasks FOR PREVIS… I was also learning PRIMETIME. It may have been the Republican and Democratic parties in severe conflict with me. They actually DID LIKE ME for work for the White House. NEITHER wanted to adopt me though.
For a while I stood in as a “future Kamala” both the legitmate looking society famous one as well as a criminal me person.
Some people may have held onto ME as a Spielberg and as a Kamala person long term without telling other people what was going on. INCLUDING ME. IT HAS TO DO WITH MONEY. I became a Hollywood Kamala for her people to invest and make money DECADES AGO.
I’m verifiably RETIRED from PREVIS work for big people. I don’t have their people to TALK WITH REGULARLY about what is going on. Inside information is very key. I’m not a political assistant for the White House. They have MANY of those people ACTIVE and on a PAYROLL. They don’t all sit in Washington, D.C. They are scattered around the world. I have NO INSTRUCTIONS about helping any specific candidate nor contact list of who I need to know right now. I am in a very dead zone. Nothing going on.
I am NOT ADOPTED by any politician or political party. People do know who I am. It is a choice they have made and I fully accept it. I’ve noted I am NOT under a contract and am NOT WORKING. I’m not pretending to be previs or in control of anything. I have agreed, am RETIRED in nature. Can’t fix this by myself! Someone would HAVE TO HIRE ME to make me unretired.
It may interest some people to know that a “bigger me” person, more than one were staff at QualComm in its earliest life. In the 1980s, some even thought I worked there and made a lot of money. It was not me. I may have actually gone places they were also visiting at the same time and didn’t know it.
If you believe in evil spirits among us, on the wind, in person, even just in your head… A sense that I need to appease the local gang peoples and remind them how RETIRED and DISABLED I am to do much for others. What I can do, and if you copy this I won’t care… I want to SPONSOR a ROUND of BEER at a local San Diego haunt for my next July birthday when I turn 5-3. I may or may not show up and I want THE IMPORTANT PEOPLE to take turns being the center of attention and standing up and telling a short story of 30sec-2min long. I won’t stand up at all. I may sit in the back of the room with my beer.
It is an opportunity for every one to show how much MORE IMPORTANT you/they are than me. I’ll stay seated, you can take turns OWNING THE ROOM. I may even enjoy your stories! We all may.
Note: If this goes well, I’ll sponsor the event every summer! It’ll be my little way of supporting local craft brews and San Diegans.
Rarely do I open up an article about the Governor of California, Gavin Newsom. I came across this today. https://www.ocregister.com/2024/11/25/like-sands-through-the-hourglass-so-are-the-days-of-gavins-political-career/ Not certain if this is ringing the correct bells and sirens about him. I don’t know who all is behind his career and life. Traditionally Californian governors are bright people’s people and the close ties they have within their state actually precludes them from favoritism of the east coast politics. Guess a case in point is Kamala Harris and also Robert Kennedy Jr.‘s running mate Nicole Shanahan. Is it because they are emboldened and grown from roots with the tech and entertainment industries? Makes me wonder!
Dear Mr. Newsom, I know what it is to be in the wilderness and I hope you don’t get banished to it. The article is very correct on how bad it can go. I’ve been in the wilderness for decades and trafficked out of it for short stints and they were mostly painful in some way. What happened to me is some needed me banished and away, and some needed me around now and then to show I was not dead and buried somewhere. If you do get pushed to the wilderness I humbly suggest you create new alliances and find ways to float above it. You’ve been a huge public figure and have a better chance to do it than I did. If you can’t levitate yourself above the [censored] and get stuck small and distanced from all the high places you are welcomed to visit with me in person for a coffee at Starbucks sometime. I am so far removed, the only way someone can get me in person for such a thing is to be someone retired out of the high places. I know you are not perfect, and your best and worst are amplified because you are so high up and forward to the public. Reason I’d do coffee with you is because I know you’ve been puppeted, directed, coached and you’ve had a tough job not anyone can do and that’s why you got it.
There are a lot of critics of the Democratic party and Gavin Newsom. Fine. I don’t always agree or disagree. Being out in the wilderness is hasn’t been my interest to pay much attention to what’s going on in politics and the issues of the California state. Perhaps I have an enlightened attitude about politicians in high places? It seems to me they have a lot of problems to contend with whatever their promised and actual platform of reason and promotion is. Just being a public figure is a tough job. There are so many people pushing and pulling issues, lobbying, threatening, harassing that leadership is never peaceful. I’m impressed politicians get any sleep!
Anyway… Mr. Newsom, is you are reading this… I wish you not to get thrown out into the wilderness if you feel it is not your future. If you do get it, you may be sharing it with a lot of burned out, formerly talented and important people from nations around the world. I doubt the wilderness will throw you away.
My history in political parties? Was told I was born into a Democratic family, then I was adopted by Republicans. I was too trafficked and caught between parties before I was eight years old. Neither party was actually adopting and protecting me well… that I knew of. It appeared the Republicans had money, however they didn’t want me to be an expensive, important person. The Democrats I encountered were low on money all the time and behaved criminal toward and around me. It has caused me to drift and actually lose interest in politics and politicians altogether. I have since tried to focus on issues, people, watching the world turn. My mind is not with a political party at all. I’m actually concerned with the world system of all nations and issues.
I’m small, in the wilderness and not interested in being important somewhere. I like being uncommitted and able to just read about things and comment if I want to. It is my sense of freedom.
It was known that a “Clinton” was human trafficking me in the 1970s and possibly paid for by a current or former employee of BYCORP Construction. “Clinton” was a known paid trafficker of Chinese and Taiwanese people in San Diego, CA. He actually GRABBED ME and tried to SELL ME to incoming immigrants more than once before I was old enough to attend grade school. They looked Chinese and separately people from India.
Here is the actual stranger than fiction. These TWO WOMEN are known gang members who used my name in San Diego, CA and Los Angeles, CA and possibly in Honolulu, HI. “Michelle Kirksey” and “Mamie McCall”. When I was under six years old there was a “Clinton” and “Alex” connected with BYCORP who also used my name(s) in Los Angeles, CA. These were adults knowingly using my name(s). This doesn’t include also “Joshua Kushner, Jr.” a known brown Mexican gang member who people pretended was my husband.
I have witnessed at least 3-4 different men using the name “Clinton” before the 1980s. They all looked lean, tall, white/Caucasian and gangster.
This does not include gangster/mafia women using the first name of “Donna”. There has been at least one in Chula Vista, CA as well as one in Oceanside, CA who spoke with me in my youth. Both knew who I was.
How many “Alex” people(men and women) are in a job position or living in a location I was in theory supposed to be a part of, right now? I can say I have witnessed at least one “Alex” in San Diego, CA living in a home people pretended I owned. Another “Alex” I have worked with in person on a major feature movie in a job I wanted as a child.
The point in all this is… I’ve been replaced by gang members in all kinds of places FULL TIME. I got those places/locations(even job) a long time ago and met with others and it was established I was involved… then I was never again at those locations for the same reason. None of these people who replaced me, or took my place… are long term contacts and friends. I don’t even know what names they have on their own documents. I wonder to this day…”Who do they think they are now?” AND “Who do they think I am?”
I was a youth when I was taken to the Van Nuys Superior Courthouse and asked to help “previsualize some things”. I was asked to DO IT FOR A “STEVEN”. Over the decades… I … YES ME!!! Was taken back to the courthouse and placed in the DEFENDANT SEAT as if I was… a STEVEN. I was IN TROUBLE and BEING A STEVEN for …who?? And that’s the troubling part. The role reversal? The swap? Are people aware? I do not have mafia or gangster or gang member contacts to help me. I am being trafficked. I do not use the name Steven, by the way. I’m willing to wager… all these names I’ve mentioned in the post may have AUTHENTICALLY used the name “Steven” in public places over the decades and have been transacting in Los Angeles, CA with fellow gang members, mafia people and more.